Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

God has put some circumstances in my life, again, that have brought on some new thinking and a different focus, again. He seems to keep doing that and it's never easy... but it is my own fault for resisting His nudgings. I am not going to go into the details of those circumstances because, frankly, they are unimportant to the point
and a little personal.

What God laid on my heart and then my wife sort of said almost the same thing the next morning was that if you are steeped in pop-culture and fill your head with new releases in the theater, current releases of your favorite secular music artists, keep up with and work to see your favorite TV shows, and generally fill your mind with all these things of the world... You are probably missing some growth opportunities, if not most growth opportunities. Your mind is occupied with the world and not God. How important is pop-culture to us? Billions of dollars are spent on entertainment of the movie/music/TV varieties. That's how important.

What is the chief end of man? Why are we here? To glorify God and do His will. He gives each of us a purpose. We are alive because God wants us to be. If He wants us to be, then He has a purpose for us. Am I fulfilling that purpose?

I am not a huge TV person. We just don't watch that much. I have some shows I watch with guys at work and we talk about them. Same with movies, we talk about those, too. I do love movies. Probably my favorite form of entertainment. I also like music. I also have always loved Stephen King books. I have every Stephen King audio book in my collection. And I am not going to condemn any of those forms of entertainment, that's not my point. But my issue here is that I listened to secular music in the car, and I like some good alternative rock-and-roll which is typically not very godly these days. If not music then I was listening to a Stephen King audiobook or some other secular audiobook. I also focus on what movies are out and the TV shows that we do watch I spend energy making sure we have them recorded to watch at work and that time is spent doing that. But how much time and energy do I spend on/with/for God? I do bible study with the kids in the morning and spend time reading (a little) on my own but for the most part I am spending most of the time and energy on things that aren't glorifying to God or giving me an opportunity to grow. Very little.

So, I felt the need (i.e. nudge) to refocus a little. I removed the music from my portable device as well as all audiobooks. I am only listening to teaching by John MacArthur during my commute (he's fantastic) and I am completely committed to having a better attitude and those easy little things we do every day without thinking about them that aren't really glorifying to God or even obedient to God... I am just as committed to being aware and conscious and purposeful about my actions. That attitude/actions part sort of was a side effect, honestly. That didn't start as a conscious choice but actually came about from the first part. I just ended up winning the little battles against myself a little easier that cause the bad attitudes and disobedient actions.

This has only been the past few days, but I promise you I feel a difference in my heart. There is a very intense peace about it. I have not ever really felt it like this before. I think for the first time in my life I am finally letting go of my selfish desires/lusts of the flesh that we all fight... the ones I didn't really want to let go of (oh, this one isn't so bad. I'll just hang on a little bit to it) and God has blessed me with a peace about it to show me I should have let go a long time ago. Again, I am not saying that entertainment is bad. I am saying that putting entertainment higher than God is bad. I mean, that's a no-brainer... but it's also VERY easy to do.

There are times I am very sad and regretful about missed opportunities and wasted time in my life. I've made some really bad choices along the way. Thank God for His mercy and His grace. But I think if I dwell on that regret, I'll never get past it because as life goes on and I grow, there will always be something to look back on and regret. Instead, I just want to move forward now. I am actually kind of excited to keep moving forward. But I guess that's a whole other post.

Echo

As a father I have, many times, heard my tone or the harsh words come out of my mouth only to totally regret it immediately after. Most of my life I have had a short fuse and it comes out with my kids too often. I mean, kids can be a bit... um... trying, I guess. If you ever wanted to work on your patience or the ever popular "long-suffering" then I supposed having a large family is the perfect thing for you. I remember my mom saying to my older brother one time something about God is helping you learn patience and he replied, "I didn't ask to learn patience."

Anyway... If I thought the regret of saying harsh things or saying things harshly was bad, now I hear the same words or tone echoed from my kids sometimes. That really hurts. I have passed on this short-tempered, unguarded tongue thing to my kids and it hurts my stomach when I think of that. I wonder, "Is it too late to fix it?" Well, I don't actually know. I have to fix it in myself first before it can be fixed in them. Something to think about and work on.

Love Brings Discipline

We have a friend and neighbor who was being baptized this past weekend and invited us to come and celebrate that occasion with her. We had not been to the church she attends before (The Village Church) but I know a few people who attend there and I have a friend that knows their pastor (Matt Chandler) very well and has nothing but good things to say about him. So we loaded up all the kids Saturday night and headed up there.

There were four people being baptized that night and each gave their testimonies, which was really nice to hear, and then Pastor Matt spoke for a bit. He basically ran through some of their core values that they started the church with about four years ago. He ran through them pretty quickly as his time was limited by the baptisms and they were having communion that night, also. But he said something that caught my attention and the more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this one comment may change my entire being forever. He said, "Love brings discipline, but discipline never brings love."

I have come to realize that everything about me that I do not really like, besides all that corruption from a fallen world, can be summed up in that sentence. I focus on doing the right things because I am supposed to instead of doing the right things because I love Jesus. I discipline my children to "force" righteousness on them, so to speak. Do it my way whether you want to or not because I said to do it that way. But I believe that is the wrong approach and will end in failure of a kind. I need to discipline them in a way that is correction in love so that they will WANT to be obedient because they love me and want to please me, and they love God and want to please Him. I have not completely hashed this all out in my head but it has made an impact on me and is working on me.

When I mentioned this to my friend who knows Pastor Matt, he said that Matt would be there in the office (we work in a ministry) the next day and I should tell him this story.

Well, Pastor Matt came and my friend brought him to me and introduced us and told Matt that I had a story. I told it by stating that one sentence he said that night changed the foundation of who I am. He responded with, "Since Saturday?" Well, it's a work in progress. He was very gracious and accessible as far as standing there talking to me, someone he doesn't know at all who happened to attend his church one time to see a friend get baptized. He talked and listened and I appreciated him and his willingness to do so. I've known (and know) pastors of larger congregations that are not accessible at all. I understand that somewhat as they would be suffocated by their (fans) flock if they didn't put the cushion between them and the (fans) flock that they do. But I appreciate a pastor who is accessible and Pastor Matt was. Have I beat that horse enough?

Anyway, it is a work in progress but I am praying for it to be a permanent change in my character and a new direction in thinking for me. I like the idea and want to repeat my thanks to Pastor Matt for sharing it with me. I will try to share my progress/struggles/experiences of this attempted life-change as it goes.