Change

My wife said something to me the other day... Valentines day to be exact. We were just turning off the light and getting settled in to go to sleep and a discussion broke out. I won't go into details but something she said has been on mind ever since. She said that I should not try to live my life to please her or do what she wants from me... But I should live my life to please God and do what He wants from me. It may sound like an obvious thing, but it most definitely feels like a revelation to me. It makes sense, really. Pleasing her will trickle down from pleasing God. It sounds so much like a no-brainer saying it here, but it has really affected me since that night.

Valentines Day

I have a little tradition on Valentines day that started a couple of years ago. I take pictures of characters in movies or whatever that my kids like and I take their faces and do a little Photoshop magic and make the characters have their faces. This year my three oldest are very much into The Lord of The Rings (they all have the audiobooks on their iPods and listen to them constantly) and my oldest has watched the movies just this year and loves them. So I asked who their favorite characters were and that's who I made them this year. My two year old son prefers Toy Story and Buzz Lightyear, so that was his fun. They tend to look a little strange but they can see themselves in them and it's good fun every year.

Aragorn (Ben)


Legolas (Lydia)


Gandalf (Jack)

Buzz Lightyear (Henry)

Quality Entertainment

My dad and I used to call movies "Quality Entertainment." It was just kind of a joke we had for whatever reason. I don't remember how it started or even when. When it comes to movies, "quality" is a word that doesn't apply in some cases.

I am a big movie lover. I own a bunch and we rent some and guys at work trade movies to view. Some are good, entertaining... Some are not so much. Some are violent, profane... ah, there's issue. Langauge.

My wife and I have always been very picky about what we let our kids watch. We get the usual comments and looks when people hear that Brother Bear has never been watched at our house. Neither have many other titles, Disney or not. We also pre-watch anything the kids are going to watch. In some cases, the movies are excellent movies with great stories but the only real problem is the language. I am not exactly sure why they feel the need to put so much profanity into movies these days. Maybe that's how they talk, but I don't and most of the people I know don't, either. But my kids have missed out on some fun movies due to language issues with them.

Well... here enters the geek in me. I knew there were companies out there that edited movies for content and sold "clean" copies of them. I kind of checked into it and they do exist and seem to have a limited selection of things. There is also the "ClearPlay" DVD player that edits movies as you watch. It's relatively cheap and the monthly subscription fee is only about $7 I think. It looks to be a very cool deal. BUT, being on the short end of the cash machine right now and being a total geek that loves a good challenge, I decided to try and edit them myself.

This whole thing started with my wife and I saying that our 13 year old son, Ben, would probably enjoy Jurassic Park without being too scared of it now that he is a "big boy." So, I watched it again to make sure it was alright for him and was surprised at the langauge used in it. It's funny how you see things differently when looking through the eyes of your children. There were about 15 places in the movie that had language I considered offensive, minor or otherwise. A few were what I would consider pretty harsh. Well, my kids aren't going to watch that.

At that point I got to wondering if I could edit a movie and how I would go about it. I took Jurassic Park, which I own on DVD, and ripped the video and audio of the movie into files and imported those files into a video editing software. That one sentence does not exactly express the trouble I went through to get this done. I tried several different software packages for video ripping and audio ripping and finally found the ones I liked and tried many ways to get the quality I wanted and finally got the settings for all parts. The actual editing is just a matter of watching through the movie in the editor and marking each place I want to edit in the timeline of the editor. Then I go back to each marked place and take the audio volume down on the center channel for the offensive words. (Note: while editing Apollo 13, I had to edit the front surround channels for some of the words as the voices came through on those channels, too).

After editing it all, I just use a DVD authoring software to put it back onto a DVD. It really sounds like it could be a total pain to do, and I won't say it's easy, but it's not that bad, really. And I enjoy doing it. My wife calls it my new hobby. Maybe, but the kids got to watch Jurassic Park, which scared my 8 and 10 year olds to death. Neither of them made it through. The 13 year old loved it.

After Jurassic Park, I did the next two Jurrasic Park movies, The Lost World and Jurassic Park III. Right now I am working on Apollo 13 and The Incredibles. What's that you say? What could I be editing out of The Incredibles? Ya, I know this is super picky, but that scene where Mr. Incredible and Mirage sit at a table and chit chat with a little harmless flirting. I know, it's a ticky-tack thing to have a problem with but we felt uncomfortable enough when we saw it that it kept us from showing the kids the movie. But I cut it out and now it's watchable.

I am not sure what will hit the editor next, but we'll see when we get there. As a note for anyone wondering about copyright and piracy... I own the actual, real DVDs of all the movies I have edited. And I don't sell the clean copies of the movies to anyone else.

Proverbs 26: 24-26 (NKJV)

"He who hates, disguises it with his lips,
And lays up deceit within himself;
When he speaks kindly, do not believe him,
For there are seven abominations in his heart;
Though his hatred is covered by deceit,
His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly."

No-Lidders

This is a short clip they did where I work. I thought this was funny. If you know me, see if you can find me in this clip.

Focus

One thing I struggle with is being too focused on me. What I mean by that is I am very caught up in my thinking and my actions in me. I think of me, I do things I want or think I need. I get so into me that I get myself depressed when things don't work out like I want. It's really kind of childish. I see the same traits in my children. I scold them for it and then turn around and do the same sort of junk myself only on an "adult" level... whatever that really means. I spend so much time and energy pleasing myself (or trying to, anyway) that my service to those around me, including my God, suffers greatly.

This blog is about what I consider my God-given mission at this point in my life... fatherhood. I can absolutely guarantee that being focused on myself is a sure and absolute way to not be performing up to my full potential as a father. A mission is about service... to God, to others. At least the kind of mission I am talking about here. I cannot possibly serve God or others while trying to make sure I am doing all I want to do. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. That is a theme that I've tried to remember for the past four years or so that started this entire thing. I am an insignificant part of the greater plan. Not that God can't use me significantly in any way that He chooses... It's that what I am or what I can do or what I want is infinitesimal compared to the greater plan. It's what God can use me for, what He can do through me that is significant.

I believe we were not put here to enjoy things. Not that finding joy in our work or even play is bad. But I believe that there is no promise that we will be happy. There is no promise we will not suffer. In fact, I believe that suffering is sort of a big part of it all. Christ suffered greatly for something He didn't even do... He suffered for us. He died for us. That's torture and death... And I can't even find the strength to think of others during my selfish day.

This stream of consciousness blabbering is not something I've sat and thought about... it's just something I am thinking about. I literally just sat down and started typing. Basically, I struggle with selfishness and I believe that limits my effectiveness as a father, husband, employee, Christian, etc. I also believe it contributes to my inability to find joy in my days. That is something else I struggle with. I want so badly to find joy in the everyday, mundane, God-given tasks... in all that I do. I know it's there. I just have to forget about me and make the focus on those I am serving. I believe that might be a good start. Well, pray for me if you care to. Thanks.

Ambushed On My Birthday... Again

My birthday, 41, came upon us recently. On my 40th my family ambushed me with water balloons and completely surprised me with it. I thought I was more on my guard this year but they got me with silly string and again, completely surprised me. I can assure you, it won't happen again.

My wife always makes me an angel food cake with chocolate icing, my favorite. She even makes the icing. This year Henry, 2+, helped ice the cake. She said he really did help. It looks like he enjoyed it quite a bit. I wonder what the ratio of how much went on the cake and how much went in Henry is?

My oldest, Ben - 13, made a pinata for the festivities. Paper mache and streamers and the well place fin and eye and we have a fish pinata. He was convinced that it was too weak and we'd break it way too fast. We pounded it pretty hard and it took quite a bit to finally break it. Inside were Rolos (which you cannot roll to your friend any more because they are now tapered at the top and just roll in a circle right back to you... I was wondering if that is some sort of candy-commentary on the state of our greedy, self-centered culture), Twix (mmmm), Snickers, Tootsie-Pops, Starbursts, Jolly Ranchers, M&Ms, and those little party popper things that you pull the string and it pops and shoots a little bit of confetti out of it.



The fish theme carried through out the day as the balloons my kids blew up had fish drawn on them and the phrase, "Have a fishy bday" was written on them. There were various hand-drawn signs hanging around the house that sported the same message and same fish drawings. The cake had little candy fishy things on top, too.

We also went to Fuddruckers for hamburgers at lunch. That's my favorite burger place around here. Between the big, fat burger for lunch, the french toast at breakfast and cake and ice cream along the way... I was stuffed and ready for a nap.

All in all we had a good time and it was a good day. Maybe I'll have another one next year.